EGYPT. WOW.

HERE IS AN EXCERPT FROM MY ROOMMATES LETTERS TO HIS GIRLFRIEND. INSTEAD OF WRITING MY OWN I TOOK HIS. WITH HIS PERMISSION OF COURSE. HOWEVER, NOT ALL OF IT IS HIS. ANYTHING WRITTEN IN CAPS IS WRITTEN BY ME TO INCLUDE A LITTLE MORE. HOPE YOU ENJOY!

Egypt was cool and exciting, but it was dirty as hell (people took out their trash and threw it in the Nile), crowded, and overwhelming. The only time I've ever had culture shock. Best time I never want to have again.

After the plane ride there and check in, we got a ride from Ahmed, the young guy who works at the hostel who, like every other Egyptian did all weekend, said "Welcome to Alaska". We got to the hostel and drank some tea and haggled about money for the weekend for over an hour. After tea we got our room keys and went upstairs on the roof, overlooking the ghetto, under some real token Arabian covers and blankets and stuff and smoke sheesha (hookah). WE OPENED THE DOOR TO OUR ROOM ONLY TO SEE A COCKROACH RUN ACROSS MY NIGHTSTAND AS SOON AS WE WALKED IN. I barely slept, after we killed a few bugs, because there was a TON of street noise...dogs, car horns, the works. We got up the next morning and had crepes with banana slices for breakfast (delicious, courtesy of the owner Abraham)I HAD WOKEN UP A BIT EARLIER THAN THE OTHERS DUE TO THE 5 O'CLOCK MUSLIM SERVICE BEING PLAYED OVER THE CITIES SIRENS AND ALSO ALL OF THE THOUSANDS OF DOGS BARKING AT THE NOISE. Giza, WHERE THE FIRST PYRAMID WAS, is a shithole, literally. There's animal filth everywhere and also egyptians who don't bathe a lot. First we went somewhere else to the first pyramids built...not super impressive but cool still. Then we ate lunch at a 5star place (for free) with a view of the Giza pyramids. After lunch we went to a papyrus school where they make and paint on papyrus like in ancient times. They showed us how to make it and we shopped around a bit. (I got a small one of Anubis and a blank 1...don't know what I'll do with that yet) Finally, we went to the Giza pyramids. 4 of my friends rode camels I DID NOT(they kind of regretted it) and the rest of us decided to walk it. I WAS A WALKER We saw the sphinx, the great pyramid, and the pyramid that's on our money with the little cap still on it. It was really cool except it was very dirty (all of Egypt was a sandy garbage dump to be honest) and every Egyptian there tries to charge you for everything and never leaves you alone. For instance, we were walking up the hill and a guy with these cheap model pyramids and a plain white bed sheet for a head-dress thing starts walking with us saying "i give you this free" and just throws crap at us. Then after one kid, I'M THE ONE KID, is holding like 4 things, unwrapped and everything, he says "okay, 20 pounds" (which is like $4 US, but still) and no matter how many times you say no, he won't stop. THIS MAN WAS LITERALLY FORCING THESE THINGS INTO MY HANDS. Now multiply that by 200-300. We did notice that if we said "la shukran", or "no thank you" in Arabic, that they listened a little better, maybe as a sign of respect. Still though, crazy people... EVEN ONE OF THE ARMY MEN TOOK OUR MONEY FROM US AFTER VOLUNTEERING TO TAKE OUR PICTURE. NORMALLY I TOLD THESE GUYS TO BACK OFF-HOWEVER, SEEING AS THIS GUY HAD A GUN, THINGS WERE A BIT DIFFERENT...

That night, after a 1hr nap, we went on a Nile dinner cruise. It wasn't super scenic, just a city at night. In fact, we had a high school dance on a boat in Pittsburgh and that was way cooler. But the best part was that there was a wedding reception on the boat with us. So we ended up crashing a traditional Egyptian Muslim wedding. They had some live music with a mix of American and Arabic hits then a band came on and played for a belly dancer, some kind of dancer from the Netherlands I think (who was awesome), and then two guys who did a sort of stick dance. Then the belly dancer came back out in a dress the was slightly more modest, HARDLY! STILL JUST AS AWESOME, until she had a nip-slip. WHICH WAS ALSO AWESOME. Each segment would usually have the bride come up or bride and groom or the mothers or something, but the egyptians loved us and they would pull us out on the dance floor and boogie with us. It was ridiculously fun. This was such a long day that the next morning I felt like we were going home because it seemed like a long weekend. But it was only the beginning...

I slept better in the hostel that night after a ridiculously full day, but still had to get up at 6:00AM for a long drive out into the desert. We drove 5 hrs into a town called Oasis, which was basically a desert slum. There we met up with Sami, which we of course pronounced "Sammy" who was this big fat Egyptian ball of fun. He loves Americans, especially young people, and loves the desert. We then drove about 2hrs into the white desert. I WAS ALONE WITH SAMI AT THIS POINT. JUST ME AND MUSLIM SAMI ON THE OPEN ROAD. LETS JUST SAY KIDNAPPING, TORTURE AND DEATH CROSSED MY MIND MORE THAN ONCE. ESPECIALLY WHEN OTHER MEN WOULD COME UP TO THE CAR TO ARGUE ABOUT WHAT SEEMED TO BE ME. but with frequent stops to see the black desert mountains and a couple other random sites as well as stunt driving through the desert sands which was like an unsafe roller-coaster operated by people who dont speak english...so naturally, it was awesome. Climbing one of the black mountains was pretty cool and I got a 360picture panorama which I'm hoping to turn into a few good panorama shots. It was nice after riding in the car so long to climb a mountain too.

After arriving in the white desert and paying a surprise fee of 40 pounds ($8 US) AT A STOP WHERE WE KICKED OVER A ROCK AND SAW A LITTLE YELLOW SCORPION-THE BEST KIND, we drove though it for 15km until we reached a suitable camp site. The desert was filled with what was called "Mushrooms" which were like a chalky white stone that had naturally formed mushroom-like shapes, anywhere from 2meters to 15meters high. I have some good pictures of and from the tops of those that were around our campsite. Our camp wasn't much. It was 3 land rovers CRUISERS parked corner to corner making a square with an open side. They put up a carpetish-blanketish thing to keep some heat in and make it like a room, then made fire on the open side where we sat around and stayed warm. For our desert trip, two guys from Holland met up with us at lunch (which I forgot to mention was after the black mountain). Their names were Neils and Johann and they were very cool guys. They just finished University, were 26, and had been traveling the world and had gone most everywhere. They made the desert trip so much better because this was when the girls were starting to get on our nerves (there were 4 guys and 7 girls). ALTHOUGH THEY DID MAKE IT BETTER, IT COULD HAVE BEEN 100 TIMES BETTER IF THE TWO GUYS THAT SHOWED UP WERE ACTUALLY THE TWO AMERICAN GIRLS THAT WERE PROMISED TO ME BY SAMI WHILE ASKING FOR MY APPROVAL OF WEATHER OR NOT IT WOULD BE OKAY IF TWO MORE JOINED OUR TRIP - A QUESTION THAT WAS ASKED DURING MY FEAR OF DECAPITATION BEING BROAD CASTED OVER AL JAZZER. We joked around, did riddles, learned funny slang in each other's cultures and smoked some sheesha. QUESTIONABLE... soon after, music, jokes, dancing, and general ridiculousness I really can't describe until you've met these men started. The second guy, the one whose name I forget, got really quiet and started giving back rubs to the girls which was creepy at first, but then just funny. Unexpectedly, dinner was the best meal I've had since I've been away. They had cooked fresh chicken (and I mean fresh, we saw them take the live chicken out of the cage in Oasis) over the fire, and made this awesome lentil soup and spicy potatoes as well as some delicious white rice. It was amazing.

We could see EVERY star in the galaxy. There was more lit space than dark space and the milky way just arced over us like it was painted on. I saw 12 shooting stars in like 30 minutes. It was crazy. Unfortunately, we couldn't do an exposure longer than 5 minutes and so couldn't get good star pictures and there's just no way to describe how cool it was. As people started going to bed it was me, Sami, Neils, two other egyptians, Jason (my roommate) and Kameron still around the fire telling riddles and talking about god knows what with Sami. The night was FREEZING and desert foxes would come up to us all the time and just kind of hang out. They were harmless so it was cool. I SLEPT IN WHAT LOOKED LIKE A BODY BAG WITH CHELSEA. IT WAS A SHEET SEWN INTO A SLEEPING BAG THAT CHELSEA'S MOM HAD MADE FOR HER HOSTEL STAYS-GERMAPHOBE. THIS THING WAS ONLY MADE FOR ONE, SO MOVING WAS NOT EVEN A QUESTION UNLESS THE OTHER WAS WOKEN UP FOR A SIMULTANEOUS ROLL OVER. EVEN WITH THE TWO OF US AS CLOSE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE WRAPPED IN THE BODY BAG AND COVERED WITH TWO CAMEL BLANKETS (GROSSSSSS) I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO COLD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. WE WOULD CONSTANTLY WAKE UP TO SYNCHRONIZED SHIVERING. After We lasted the night I got up to go by the fire and talked with Neils, Sami, and another Egyptian about how to say words such as "morning wood" and "shrinkage" in all 3 languages. Then Sami told us about his sexcapades in Europe when he was a youth and about how eating 7 dates (spelling?...the fruit) makes you "strong for your woman" better than "fiagra". haha it was great morning discussion with the locals. Breakfast, like every other meal included tons of pita bread, and then had honey, figs, and hard boiled eggs. After we were done, a few of us wandered around the desert to take pictures and such while the guides packed up camp. Then started our journey from hell back to Cyprus...

We drove two hours back to Oasis, then waited for 20 mins at Sami's house for our driver. This fat, elvis-looking guy picks us up and after we leave he stops like 5 times to bs with friends, smokes cigarettes, and stuff like that. He was a douche bag. He then drove us five hours back to Cairo (heavy traffic) and dropped us off 30 mins away from our hostel, in the ghetto, where no one spoke english. We thought we were being kidnapped 100%. After one english speaker was found, he forced our driver to get us cabs to our hostel since, for a reason I still don't know, he wouldn't take us there. 25mins later and once darkness had settled in, we got in 3 cabs, split up guys into every cab for safety and were off. 30mins after that we passed our hostel and pulled up to an Arab market where they let us get out. Luckily, we knew where we were and had only a 10min walk back. The girls stupid enough to bring a checked bag stuck out like a sore thumb, but we made it back okay. As we told Ahmed (the guy at the hotel who set stuff up for us, smoked with us, went to the Nile cruise with us, etc) about what happened, the cabbies and our driver showed up and said we ran without paying and ran from the cops (which is only like 30% true) but Ahmed yelled at them a bunch and basically told them to BACK off and the stupid Elvis driver was responsible for getting us there so he had to pay. It was nice to have someone fight for us for once. Then we collected ourselves for 30mins and left for the airport. Abraham got us tradition local food called Kosheri as a goodbye present (this guy was the man) and as a compensation for the moron driver. THEY GAVE US A SAUCE THAT WITHOUT TRYING I POURED ALL OVER MY FOOD THEN LICKED IT OFF MY FINGERS. HOTTEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD PERIOD. MONICA AND I, WHO BOTH LOVE SPICY FOOD IMMEDIATELY STARTED TO CRY. IT WAS INSANE. I HAD TO RAN TO BY AN ENTIRE PACK OF BOUNTY BARS TO TRY TO GET RIG OF IT. MY LIPS WERE ON FIRE AND MY FACE WAS BRIGHT RED. IT NEVER ACTUALLY WENT AWAY UNTIL AFTER WE LANDED IN CYPRUS. It took us 1.5 hrs to get to the airport, which was only 30 mins away because of traffic and a bad driver. When we got there, he took us to the wrong terminal. So it took us forever to find the right one..about 45 mins in fact. At this point its 9:25 and we have a 10:20 international flight. Not good. So we go to check in but you have to go through security to get to the counter and we asked the guy if we could get tickets printed in there. he thought we needed to buy tickets, so sent us to some ghetto ass offices upstairs. (9:40PM). At this point, we are literally sprinting to every location. A lady in an office tells us to ignore the security guy and just go through because our name is on a list. Others (girls) don't believe me because only I heard this so I go first... he lets me go through and they follow. (9:45) Then we find the Cyprus Airways counter and she collects all of our passports. This lady was really nice but we were still in a rush. (9:52PM) we're all ready with our tickets and immigration cards and go to passport control. (10:01PM) we arrive at the gate. It's still packed, but its way past expected boarding time so we ask the guy and the door and he (thank god) says it hasn't started boarding yet, the shuttle to the tarmac hadn't arrived yet. At this point, we're all very relieved but no better than to feel safe and sound. 10 mins later we're on the plane, sitting in our seats. Once again, felt better but not good. by 10:50 we were over the Mediterranean and only about 20-30 mins from Cyprus and then I had a beer and let out the biggest breath of my life.

When we got back (after an hour cab ride) we each showered, had some Grant's Scotch, and went to the Super Bowl. IT STARTED AT 3AM HERE We left a few mins after the interception and walked home and immediately passed out. Jason and I woke up at 4:00PM today and I'm still exhausted...what a weekend!